Monday, June 15, 2015

Did I Jump At Ariel's Point?

I've been to Boracay several times already. Definitely not as much as the usual LABORACAY crowd, but my last trip there was my fourth time and every time I go, I experience something different. This trip, I got to visit Ariel's Point. Confession: I knew nothing about Ariel's Point when they sent me the itinerary, so I Googled it and thought it was quite interesting. You pay Php2000 for the all-inclusive extravaganza: roundtrip boat ride; buffet lunch and unlimited drinks; and free use of facilities for kayaking, snorkeling and cliff diving. 

All aboard the boat... it's time to party!

You get a discount if you are a guest at the Boracay Beach Club; nonetheless, you can book online or as a walk-in. We made reservations 2 days before and gathered at the registration point at 11:00 am, on the day. To get there, we road a boat and they started serving beer the moment we got to our seats. It was, maybe a 30-minute ride, after which we got to the island where we could pick huts or tables to settle in. 

While there, you get to enjoy cliff dives from three different heights: 5, 8, and 15 meters or you could go kayaking, snorkeling or simply take a leisurely swim in the sea. An hour from our arrival, lunch was served, but from the moment we arrived at the island, the drinks were overflowing. They were serving beer, sodas and rum coke. They also served banana fritters for an afternoon delight, right before we boarded the boat back. 

To Jump or Not to Jump

I posted the photo below during the time I was contemplating over whether to jump or not. When we got there I watched people take their dive down 5 meters, 8 meters and 15 meters. The 15 meter jump looked very ominous and deadly but I watched everyone jump down the 5 meters (some of my companions did right away) and decided I could do it. 

Before lunch I made a declaration: "I am going to jump!" and I was quite psyched already. Some people commented on my post on FB and Instragram, telling me to go for it and I thought: "I might as well, you know, I'm already here." But right before I finished my food I got a message from my best friend: "Crix, careful sa Ariel's Point... dami kami patient who had accident there before when I worked at Bora". (Crix be careful at Ariel's Point. We had lots of patients who had accidents there when I was working in Boracay before.)

Anyway, I didn't jump. It wasn't really her text, I am not making her my excuse. I had the same feeling before she messaged, my thoughts just became more certain. I am not afraid of the water (I was swimming without my life vest and going deep with goggles to explore underwater the whole time). I am not afraid of heights (I used to jump from the roof of our house or jump from a high tree). What ate me was the "what if" and when you're paranoid and can think as far ahead as 10 steps all the time... the YOLO thing has a different interpretation in my head. I only live once and freak accidents can happen anytime. 

Ariel's Point. The amazing 15 meters with a man mid-air and about to plunge down. On the left side of the photo you can see the 5-meter and 8-meter planks. 

Anyway, who knows... maybe my calculations will be different in another time? Of the group I was with, five people jumped and they said it was awesome. By the middle of the stretch of time we were there people were drunk already and guys were jumping naked, cupping their groins a they dove. Two girls jumped topless, hugging each other for cover. Ariel's Point is a different experience. Probably not my kind of fun, but it was for some. 


post signature

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Seafood Can Kill Me

Part of my friend's vacay itinerary is to visit DAMPA. It is a shop and cook kind of restaurant and it serves mainly seafood. You go to the wet market to buy the food and then you choose a restaurant and tell them how you want the food cooked. It's a bit pricey, but the food is fresh and is cooked amazingly so it's really worth the money you pay. 

So anyway, when my family goes to DAMPA they know to order for me fish and chicken/pork. I am allergic to seafood so places like DAMPA is not really for me, but I enjoy it nonetheless. Anyway, on our drive to Macapagal, I only then thought to remind my friend about my allergy. "Oh shoot!" She forgot but I told her not to worry about it because I can just order something for myself--and I got steamed fish with tausi (very yummy by the way!)

On Instagram I said:  "Literally... to DIE for". 

My seafood allergy has evolved since it was first discovered. Before, it would only manifest as hives all over my body. As time passed I no longer had to worry about the hives, instead I had to deal with swollen lips and an itchy throat. Fast forward to today... I don't even get the hives and the swollen lips anymore. During an allergic attack, my respiratory system is suddenly impaired so my chest hardens, I begin to wheeze and my breathing becomes labored. 

So basically, I can really DIE if I eat seafood. At dinners with friends they try to convince me to fight the allergy. They tell me stories about how they used to get an allergic reactions too and they just pop a pill. I tell them, "You want to experiment and see what happens?" And they'd ask me: "What will happen to you?" and I answer: "I will DIE" and they immediately say, "Oh yeah, don't try it anymore." Well of course I do not know that, but better safe than sorry, I think.

My Seafood Experiences

People always have fantastic things to say about seafood. At home when there's seafood on the table everyone is happy except for me. My experiences with seafood are sad...
  • At first everyone thought my allergy was just with shrimps. My mom served squid one lunch time and I kept on telling her I'm allergic to squid too but she wouldn't believe me. She left me in the dining room: "I want your food eaten by the time I get back from taking a shower, okay?" I painfully ate the squid on my plate and finished it. After a while, my chest stiffened and I couldn't breathe. I went to my mom's room, she was still in the shower and I started knocking. It took her awhile and when she opened, she didn't know what to do. I remember saying: "I told you I was allergic!"
  • One time in the US we were having dinner with relatives. They had shrimps and crabs (really large ones) and they had steak and potatoes for me too, so I was really excited to eat. Everyone was busy cooking and when they started boiling the crab, my chest stiffened, my airways locked and I couldn't breathe. I was just watching television with the other kids and I suddenly couldn't breathe---I scared the hell out of everybody. They made me take some medicine and I was taken outside of the house, so now I am never allowed in the kitchen when seafood is being cooked there. 
I' have seafood horror stories but these two top the list. People always feel sorry for me when I tell them about my allergy but I tell them it's okay, because I really don't know what I'm missing. All my experiences with seafood are bad---so I know I am better off without it.

post signature

P.S. You know how to kill me if you want to. It's really very easy.

Monday, May 25, 2015

I Don't Have a Lot of Friends

My Facebook and other social networking accounts may show that I have numerous connections, but those are professional and personal contacts (mixed with countless acquaintances). In my life, I have met and connected with lots of people but only a few people have made a true impact in me. My close friends are consist of camp neighbors (who are my childhood friends), high school friends (my soul mates), my dentist friends (college and workmates) and some loose friends not belonging to a specific category. These people hold a special place in my heart and I love them. Most of them I grew up with, but some I met later on in life--which shows that friendship is not determined by numbers and not even by proximity. 

When I was living in London, I left my friends for two years. I was so far but I became very close to a lot of them while I was away through letters. My friends and I sent letters, back and forth, and soon enough my two years was up and I was coming back home. When I did, when I was finally back, it was as if I hadn't left. 

Speaking of friendships that defy distance, a good friend of mine left for the US years ago and we have remained close as ever despite the fact. She is also a dentist, we were classmates in CEU, and she used to copy from me (haha). She left around 2009-2010 and although I've been promising to visit her, I never got to it, so I was very happy when she announced that she will be coming for a visit. 

You see, I wasn't very fond of CEU. When I first got in (during enrollment) I wanted to turn back immediately but my dream of becoming a dentist is real and that was a perfect fuel. For years I merely came into school to learn then rode the car back home as soon as my classes were done---but it all changed when I met my friends. All NERDS and sporting big backpacks as I was, I felt at home and truly one with them. It was hard for me to find a comfort place in CEU but I did in the company of my friends and Quin was one of them. 

When she left, it was a very sad thing, especially when I needed a hug and all that we could manage was a virtual one via Skype. It is not easy to make dramatic crying in Skype but we managed. But after years of a virtual friendship, she is finally home. 

Quin arrived in Manila last week. She is here for only two weeks and since she got here, we have been going out. We aren't as wild and carefree as we were in College though, but I guess things really change when people age. At Reserve, we feasted on a lot of food, drank a few beers and wine, then complained about the loud music. Haha! Ever since she arrived, I have been her on and off driver/dentist/tour guide. It does not help that I am not familiar with most of the streets in the metro, but Googlemaps is proving to very helpful with this. 

Tonight I am meeting her again with our Dentistry friends. We are taking her to Locavore for amazing Filipino food and then Tipsy Pig for drinks. Good luck to all of us because we all have work the next day, but on Wednesday I am taking a leave as her driver because we are heading for the BEACH! 

Last hurrah for summer!!! This is the trip I was telling you about before...

post signature

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Hanging Out at Sports Bars

The very first time I got into a "sports bar" was in the United Kingdom. I joined a summer camp sponsored by the Air Force along with two other Filipino girls my age and for our last night we had a "party" and we were allowed to go into the nearby pub. It was fun. The front part of the pub was the adult part of the place where legal age individuals drink--and the back part was like a game room. We were only allowed at the back room and we played all kinds of games, for free. It was really fun!

Anyway, speaking of sports bars, my sisters took me to a sports bar a few weeks ago. Loyal fans of Manchester United, they wanted to watch the game live and I tagged along telling them I was just there for the food and drinks--but I had loads of fun. I don't follow football like they do, but appreciate the sport. You see, were all introduced to football when we were living in London. We were there when the World Cup was in France and we wished for England to win. Oh, I remember watching the games on the telly and doing just as the announcer said: to stretch our hands to the screen and say "Go England, Go!" I fell in love with David Beckham around that time and we followed Manchester United even after he left. Well, I sure am so much less of a fan compared to my sisters who'd even miss out on sleep just to watch the game (on a school/work day) but watching the game with them that night, sure reminded me of how fun football is: the sexy shorts, the big butts, the handsome blokes. Sigh!

Skinny Mike's is a fun place and they serve good food. We had their cheese fries, nachos, spicy chicken wings and we enjoyed them thoroughly. I was a bit disappointed that they didn't have Hoegaarden but they had Stella Artois so that is fine. To get a good seat, we arrived early and secured a booth. The place had television screens scattered all over the place and you could either setup in a booth, get a table or sit in the bar. You come into a place like Skinny Mikes to enjoy the game live on an HD TV screen with beer and grub. You can come as a solo or you can be with a group and whatever game is on, they can play it for you. 

The night we were there Chelsea and Manchester United fans arrived in groups. Some came solo flight and watched the game standing up, a bottle beer on their hand--and there was even a girl who sat by herself on the bar, gazing at the television in front of her. There were all kinds of fans that night... all having a good time.  

Unfortunately, Manchester United did not win the game. They "almost" scored several times, but their luck was down that game and I heard it hasn't gotten better since. Oh well, maybe it was my fault. I remember during the World Cup while Brazil was playing, I decided to come into my sisters' room to watch with them and the moment I got in, things started to go wrong so I had no choice but to leave because they were all shouting at me: "You're bad luck! You're making them lose the game! Get out!" 


post signature

Monday, April 27, 2015


Sari-stores are forbidden in the officers' quarters. In camp we had the concessionaire (row of stores) and commissary (grocery) so there was no need for "sari-sari stores". Once upon a time, the quarters looked identical to each other (white houses with green roofs), so putting up a store would definitely destroy the harmony and esthetic appeal of uniform houses. Unfortunately, the no "sari-sari store" policy meant that people had to travel far to get even just a bottle of Coke--and sure wasn't convenient. What if you needed sugar or tomato sauce for your cooking? The drive would take about 10-15 minutes to and fro--such a hassle. 

Anyway, even though it was forbidden, people had underground stores in some houses. There are no signs. There is often no proper store set-up--just a room installed with shelves, and they become known to all by word-of-mouth. There's probably one store per street, all hidden from the camp commander. (sneaky sneaky)

Now my story is not really about our underground stores at camp... 

photo sourced from here

Since all the stores were illegal, they usually come and go. When a new store opens, we all get excited and we check out the goods. Anyway, I have several stories about stores that I'd like to share with you:
  • My bestfriend and I always buy snacks to eat in the afternoon. We'd walk two streets to the best store used to buy loads of snacks and then we'd offer some to our crush. "Kuya ______, you want chippy?" Sometimes we'd almost give him everything we bought, leaving very few for us, but it's okay because at least we scored points (or so we thought).
  • I also have another girl friend who loves to snack with me. We live beside each other and during the lengthy summer vacations it could get really boring that we'd go up the roof, to get a good view. We'd climb up through the water tank and then because we're some kind of daredevil, we'd dare each other to go down by jumping from the front, where the roof is a bit low. One time we brought mats and we sun-bathed on the roof and napped there. When we woke up, we decided to jump down and for some reason, we did not notice that my mom's car was already parked below (she came home early). We jumped down and she saw us--shock of her life--scolding of a decadde for us. 
  • There was a store in the second street owned by an old lady. We loved lola. We would see her walking home from the grocery and we'd help her wed'd her bags and she'd give us goodies. One time we saw foreign coins at home and we decided they're worth more and that meant more chips so we tried if the old lady would accept it and she did. For the rest of the week, we scored chips that felt "free" because we've been picking loose coins from the house. Almost everyday, we woulld be there, but one day the old lady turned us down and said: "My son said to tell you we would only accept pesos as payment from now on". Ouch!
We had an underground store in our house too. The first time I was very young then and our maid had the brightest idea to build a store without asking my mom and when my mom got home she was in great panic. I, on the otherhand, felt I was in snack heaven. I got home from school and there were chips and candies ready to be had. The second time, my mom allowed a maid to build a store in her room and she sold chips, coke and basic cooking ingredients. It was convenient for us because we just bought stuff and she'd collect the payment from my dad every month. So you can say that we benefited from that store and our yaya always had customers. 

post signature

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Let's Play at Ludo

Ludo is a unique kind of restaurant that people frequent to play GAME BOARDS. They've got a massive collection of unique games so you and your friends could explore their library for something interesting. 

I first heard of Ludo when my sister and her friends were supposed to try it, but failed because it was fully-booked. That is the most important thing you have to know about this place: it is quite small, so they can only accommodate a few people. You may get lucky and get a table when you walk in, but it is better if you make reservations because the visitors of Ludo are not there to dine--they're there to play, so the turnover is not as fast as you would hope. As a matter of fact, the guests have the tendency to stay there for hours because the games are long (and most groups play more than one game).

Anyway, my dentist friends and I tried it a few months ago. We've been trying to go since December but they're always fully-booked so we thought we'd never get the chance.

We played two games. 

We initially wanted to try out the game that according to the games master, "will put friendships to a test", but another table got to it before we did. You see, at Ludo, you don't find games like Monopoly, Chess, Snakes and Laddes or Scrabble. They don't store usual games so don't expect any of those to be there. Instead, they have "never-before-heard-of" games that only the games master can explain, so after you pick a game board, someone will come over to explain the game for you. 

The first game we played was a speed category game. There are cards that determine the category (movie titles, boy names, fruits, etc) so the first player draws a card. He then presses the red button on the wheel (picture above) and this will start the timer. 

THE GAME: Let's pretend the category is "GIRL NAMES". After pressing the red button, I can press "C" and say "Crickette", then the next player picks a letter and gives another GIRL NAME. This continues until all the letters have been pressed and all but one player is eliminated. Note that if there are still more than one player all the letters are pressed, the game goes for another round but this time players are required to give TWO answers per letter. 

We enjoyed this game thoroughly. It is a fast game, but after you've done all the interesting categories, you'll be forced to move on--and so we did. 

The second game we played is a STORYTELLING game. It is a bit slow and does not pick up immediately, but it is an interesting game to play. It's a race to the top, which you manage by scoring points according to how well you interpret cards. 

THE GAME: At the start of every round, all players have a set of cards. One player is assigned to lead and he picks a card from his selection and gives out one CLUE (keyword) to best describe the card. Everyone will then pick a card from their own stash to match said "keyword", then the cards are displayed (without revealing the owner of the cards) and everyone guesses which one is the LEADER's card. 

This is a bit confusing but basically, you can pick the best clue for your card so that people can guess, but then since you do not want ALL to guess the main card (because you wont score any points if that happens), you can either make your clues confusing or you can completely mislead them with a keyword that is unrelated to your card, but note that if no one picks your card, you get ZERO points. So basically, you'd want to give clues that people will understand but you don't want everyone to be able to guess it.

The food isn't that spectacular.

Like I said, the people who visit Ludo are not there to DINE, they are there to PLAY, so do not expect a culinary paradise. There are not much to choose from the menu: there's pasta, chicken and gyoza. The pasta is "just okay" and the serving is small so it is not for sharing; but their chicken is crazy good, that we ordered two. I also liked their gyoza because they have unique fillings such as the cheese gyoza and the wasabi gyoza. 

What they have plenty of, are drinks. Their cocktail and shake selections is larger than their food menu, due to the nature of the restaurant. People would rather just drink in between game playing so there's a lot to choose from. 

Anyway, we had a great time at Ludo. The place was a bit young for us, I'd admit, but we're young at heart so we were able to blend in. The place housed college students (well they all looked like college dudes) and they are loud as college students, too, so the place is a bit chaotic with all the laughter, shouting and taunting! A fun kind of chaos, of course!

post signature

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Patient Chronicles: What to Do When Patients Don't Pay You

The day before we closed for the holy week break, we received a call while I was working on a patient. It was around 4:30 pm, a certain lawyer called and begged to be given an appointment at 6:00 pm because her crown (with post) came off. Mid-patient, I was sincerely dying to get rested for the day, but I agreed to see her because it was an emergency case. Also, I thought maybe it was a simple re-cementation job, so I told my assistant I would see her--one quick one and then we could all go home happy. 

The patient arrived at 7:00 pm (an hour late) with her husband, child and the nanny. They were too nice, a little chatty, but the need was real so I was glad I agreed to see her. It wasn't a simple re-cementation case, by the way. The little boy did a solid head-butt on his mom and her crown came flying out of her mouth (the post in tow). Hopeful, they scoured the street to find it, but it was nowhere to be found. Anyway, I noted multiple problems with her front teeth (including the need for a root canal on another tooth) but that was for another appointment, and I proceeded to address the pressing issue. She came in, toothless (a face mask covering her mouth) and she was desperate "to have her tooth back" for the holy week--so I worked some dental magic and restored her smile. 

I dismissed her with a temporary crown and took a mould to have my laboratory fabricate a brand new crown for her. I worked on the case for two hours, I finished at 9:00 pm, tired but happy to have helped her. 

This is my clinic, specifically the Treatment Room. I have two chairs and I worked on the lawyer in the green chair.

After I work on a patient, I dismiss them to the reception area while I chart the procedure. As usual, I gave it to Monique when I was done and as my assistant (and dental secretary) she took the chart and presented it to the patient. It is a routine we've mastered, but when she collected the fee, the husband said: "I will come back tomorrow, after lunch". I heard it--it did not register right away, but suddenly the guy was in front of me, shaking my hand and thanking me. I didn't know what to do. Maybe I was too knackered to be rude or too wasted to think ill of anyone, but after they left Monique and I couldn't believe what happened. We worked for two hours and we didn't get paid. Ouch!

The Morning After

The following day I decided to message the patient around 11:00 am and the following was the exchange I had with her:

Crix: Good morning. This is Dr. Crickette Inserto, may I know what time you would be coming by to settle your treatment fees from last night?
Patient: Will be there after lunch.
Crix: Okay. Thanks. See you. 

Around 3:00pm, I received a text.

Patient: Hi Dr. Crickette. Good pm. This is Atty ____. I won't be able to come on time before your closing today. I'm still in Makati for a board meeting. If it's okay, please text me your bank account details. I'll just have my staff deposit the money. Will send you thru MMS deposit slip for your confirmation. Please and thank you. 
Crix: Yes please, thanks. I also have Viber. (Bank Account Details). I believe Metrobank cutoff is at 4:30 pm. Thanks. 

Around 5:10, without any MMS, Viber message or update, I decided to text again because it was my birthday that day and I had to leave for dinner. 

Crix: Have you made the deposit? I am heading out early today because I have dinner plans. Should I leave my assistant instructions to wait for you? I am sorry to be asking you, but I don't know whether I'm supposed to ask her to stay or go home. We are closing for the holiday and will resume office on Monday. 
Patient: Not yet. Will deposit by Monday nalang.
Crix: Okay. God bless and happy holy week. 

After Holy Week

It's been two weeks and I still haven't heard from her. When I came back Monday (after holy week), I decided I wouldn't message her anymore because I felt that doing so would seem like I was begging and I didn't want to do that. In my mind, she came in with a face mask because she couldn't show her toothless grin in public and I worked "dental magic" to produce a tooth for her just like that--so she knew what I had done for her. She needed my help and even if I was tired, I took her in because it was an emergency. She knew what I did for her, it was a good job too, and when the temporary crown breaks in a few days or weeks she will remember me (but I'm sure she will not contact me anymore).

Tuesday 31st of March, the morning after, I pulled out her case from the laboratory and told them not to proceed with the work. I told Monique we'd wait for her payment--and since it never came, the case is left untouched.

To confirm her identity, I visited Google (my pal) and I saw her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Linkedin. She is really a lawyer--so I am reminded of my mom's constant statement when we were growing up: "Lawyers are liars". Okay, lawyer friends and readers, I said I am reminded of a statement--I did not say think you are ALL LIARS (because my best friend's husband is a lawyer and he is the best). But really, I just feel bad about what happened. I mean, I've had bouncing cheques before or patients with balances left unsettled, but none who actually came in demanding treatment with no intention of paying. I feel so bad because I wasn't smart enough to collect some kind of collateral (an ID card, cellphone or ATM) and I feel so bad because she is a professional and worst, she is a mother so I fear for her son. You know what, my clinic is along Timog Avenue and that street is a wide stretch of banks so they could've withdrawn some money (while I was slaving for two hours), but they didn't. 

The work we do is not glamorous. Some people think it is, but when you're in this position for a long time, it does a number on your neck and back. N.B. This is me working on a different patient. 

So, what do you do when patients don't pay you? Well, rest assured, Monique and I agreed to never let this happen to us anymore. We'll charge this to experience--at least nothing bad happened to us, right? For now, I'll just wish her well. The post I installed will survive a long time but the composite (resin) crown will disintegrate in a few days or weeks. It wasn't meant to last, but she'll just have to get her crowns somewhere else. Maybe she'll trick another dentist, but I hope for her son, that she wouldn't.

Case dismissed, 

post signature

Monday, April 6, 2015

Song In My Head: Better Than Words

My sisters, especially the youngest, are huge One Direction fans. I never really liked them or knew any of their names, I just knew there was a HARRY and he used to go out with Taylor Swift, but I didn't know any of them until my sister "forced" me to watch their movie. I remember saying: "Aba gwapo pala mga mokong na ito!" (Wow, these boys sure are good looking!) -- and I immediately picked Zayn as my favorite. An obvious choice for me, I guess because I always have the tendency to favor the "bad boys" and Zayn looked liked one. Bad boys are interesting, most of the time, until they show you how bad they can be. I've had my share of bad boys, which kinda makes me wanna rethink my whole preference altogether, actually. Haha!

Anyway, going back to the boys, I have never been a fan of One Direction but I know their songs because my sisters have obsessive periods and when this happens, you have to listen to their playlist in the car. Since the concert and Zayn's departure, echoes of One Direction songs play wherever they are and this song caught my attention.

Better Than Words
-One Direction-

Better than words
More than a feeling
Crazy in love
Dancing on the ceiling

Every time we touch
I'm all shook up
You make me wanna
How deep is your love
God only knows, baby

I don't know how else to sum it up
'Cause words ain't good enough, ow
There's no way I can explain your love, no
I don't know how else to sum it up
'Cause words ain't good enough, ow
I can't explain your love, no

It's better than words
Better than words

Better than words
Drive ya crazy
Someone like you
Always be my baby

Best I ever had
Hips don't lie
You make me wanna
One more night
Irreplaceable (yeah), crazy (crazy)

I don't know how else to sum it up
'Cause words ain't good enough, ow
There's no way I can explain your love, no
I don't know how else to sum it up
'Cause words ain't good enough, ow
I can't explain your love, no

Everyone tries (They try)
To see what it feels like (Feels like)
But they'll never be right
'Cause it's better (better)
It's better

One more time
Better than words

I don't know how else to sum it up (I don't know)
'Cause words ain't good enough, ow
There's no way I can explain your love, no
I don't know how else to sum it up (To sum it up)
'Cause words ain't good enough, ow (The words ain't good enough)
I can't explain your love, no

It's better than words
It's better than words
It's better than words

The initial hook was the melody because it sure is catchy, but when I began to really listen to the song, I appreciated it even more. The lyrics are fairly straightforward. It talks about a growing emotion... a ripening love that words cannot really explain. It's so apt for typical "Directioners", young at heart and of the perfect age to fall in love. It's no wonder girls go wild for the boys: they look good, they sing well, they have good songs. I heard some of the boys even write, and that is one thing you have to note--even in a popstar.

Anyway, I feel bad for fans because Zayn left. The day he announced, my sister got home and said: "I've been too busy at work, can I have some time to cry now?" And she sure did. My other sister compares the incident to the Geri Halliwell's exit that eventually led to the disbandment of Spice Girls in 1998-1999. You see, I may not be a Directioner, but I was a big Spice Girls fan and I understand how devastating it is to find out that a group you like, is breaking up. I cried when "Viva Forever" was played for the first time and then I got over it, eventually. Hehehe. So the fans, I'm they will be fine!

But this song--this song is definitely on repeat for a few more days...

post signature

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Life Begins at Thirty

They say life begins at THIRTY,  it sure is true... but just so you know, I have stopped bothering about ages for quite some time now. 

13 Going On Thirty

Have you ever seen that movie? That one's really funny. It is about a girl named Jenna (played by Jennifer Garner) who at thirteen wished to be "thirty, flirty and thriving". She was desperate and then she woke up one day as a thirty year old woman--and she was ecstatic!

I guess we  really know nothing in our youth and Jenna realized in the end that her wish---it wasn't a good wish at all. Anyway, I remember being that young. I wasn't even in high school yet and my concerns revolved around school, friends and crushes. At thirteen, your concerns and issues are shallow and very much negligible so it really is a mystery to me why Jenna was hurrying to be "thirty, flirty and thriving". 

Well, In case you didn't know, I am thirty-something and today I turn a year older. When I was seventeen and anticipating the day I turned eighteen, I remember being so excited, just like Jenna. I couldn't wait to be eighteen because I regarded it as a very significant age and I counted the days until I got there. I wanted to be an "adult". I wanted to be taken seriously. But on my nineteenth birthday, I suddenly lost interest in aging, counting and birthdays altogether. Actually, most of the time I am confused with my age. When someone asks and I'm not paying much attention, I would struggle and lag on my answer and say something like this: "I can't remember... twenty-four, twenty-five. Yeah twenty-five. Oh I'm not sure."

Anyway, it may seem as though I am in denial of my age, but the truth is that I love being in my thirties. No longer an awkward teen with trivial concerns and issues; and more credible than a twenties individual in my profession, so patients are more willing to trust me. As a thirty year old I am more independent, more decisive, more confident and more mature--or maybe I am just kidding myself. Hahaha! 

At my last high school reunion, a batchmate said: "At this age, we gotta be working on becoming future cougars". Haha! So here I am trying hard to bring "sexy back" at thirty. 

Soon enough I will no longer be in my thirties and I realized I should delight in the fact I am still in this bracket, before it's too late, so "Hooray I am so happy to be thirty-four today!" Anyway, age is just a number, right? So let's delight in numbers that relatively mean nothing in this life. 

post signature

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Binky, My Baby, Has Gone to Doggy Heaven

Two years ago, Gigi our old shih tzu gave birth to 4 puppies and since I was in need of a companion at that time, I told my mom to give me one. I named her Binky, after a reality tv star from "Made in Chelsea" and she became my companion. Unable to have a real one yet, I treated Binky as my baby and gave her all the love she deserved. 

People say I spoil her because I buy her clothes, toys and so forth. But Binky was not spoilt. She was a disciplined dog and she was potty trained. She knew how to fetch and I didn't even try hard to teach her because I just threw her toy many times and she got it, then gave it back to me, each time. She also knew how to walk without a leash, merely following my orders to "go" and "stop" but I did not teach her this, I just tried it one day and was surprised. She was car trained and you can take her anywhere, because she wont poo or pee. If I take her to a friend's house, she wont make a mess there, she will only do so when we've gone out to the street--it is amazing.

In other words, inasmuch as I would like to say Binky is the product of my hardwork, know that I didn't do much. I was lucky with her because she was kind, loving, smart and entertaining, so it is really a pain for me to accept that my perfect pet (my perfect baby) has left me. 

That Fateful Morning

My alarm went off at 6 o'clock that morning but I opened my eyes 30 minutes later. At times I would find Binky still lying beside me or she would be curled like ball in her bed. That morning, she was neither beside me nor in her bed, but I wasn't surprised because she usually goes down to hangout with manang when she hears her working downstairs. 

Anyway, I had just finished reading my daily devotional and I was about to stand-up and as I did I met a frantic manang, with a helpless looking Binky in her arms. "Nakagat sya!" (She got bitten!) And at that I screamed. I was in hysterics and I woke everyone up. At that point I screamed for my sister to get me a pair of shorts (because I slept with long shirt that night) and I remember giving one look at Binky, and I saw her kind eyes, look at me. Within moments I was ready to go and I gestured for manang to follow me but she looked at me and said: "Patay na sya maam" (She's already dead) and I collapsed on the floor, crying. I remained that way for a while and my sisters tried to calm me down, to no avail. I couldn't believe it. I slept with Binky beside me and I hadn't even woken up properly, and I was being told she was gone--forever. 

I didn't know what to do. I was just told that my baby is dead and I felt helpless. That was when I decided I needed to see the owner of the dog that attacked her. I rushed downstairs, I called manang to take me to the house and I gestured for my mom to come with me (I needed her to be my buffer because I was raging and I knew I was going to explode). 

When we got there. I found the house maid cleaning the car, the gate open, and I saw the dog cage--the chow chow inside, in another, was a chihuahua. When the maid saw me, I introduced myself and said that I am the owner of the dog that their chow chow attacked and she smiled: "Naka-smile ka?" (Are you smiling?) Maybe that was rude of me but I felt her attitude inappropriate and I was in a desperately furious state. We, then, requested that she call the owner of the house and it took awhile, because they were still asleep. When they finally got out, I began talking to the mother and that talk didn't go very well. You know, I was aware that talking to them would not exactly bring Binky back, but I desperately wanted them to know that their dog is DANGEROUS and DEADLY. I wanted her to know that there is nothing wrong with walking a dog, it was Binky's favorite thing to do in the world, but she died because their chow-chow was out of the cage.

I was accusatory. Maybe I was wrong to be so and she immediately got defensive and started to argue with me. "What do you want?" she asked me. And I continued to talk about my frustrations and she asked again "What do you want?" and I screamed in desperation: "Listen to me!" She continued interrupting and that made my heart ache even more so I screamed: "You do not get to talk! Listen to me! I lost my baby, you do not get to talk!" And I broke into tears. At that point I knew it was wrong for me to be there, so I excused myself and told my mom to take over. I turned around and ran back home (passing through the same path that Binky took before she breathed her last breath). 

I remember checking the time as I was running back--it was 8 o'clock in the morning. Normally I would just be getting ready for work at eight, but at that day was different from my usual mornings. I knew I wasn't fit to be a dentist that day so I cancelled my appointments, called my assistant and informed close friends about what had happened. When my mom returned home, it was only then that we realized that manang got bit too and her wounds just started to bleed profusely, so mom rushed her to the hospital to receive shots.

The Deadly Walk

Binky passed away around 7 o'clock, the morning of February 21st. In the mornings my dad usually asks manang to get pandesal and he did that day. Binky loved her morning walks so she usually tags along with Manang. As usual, they walked to the bakery and then walked around the opposite street to go back. As they were walking happily back home, they were unaware that an aggressive (and deadly) chow chow was out of the cage and the house gate was open. The dog went out and without a warning bark or an angry growl, it attacked. They were walking and Binky didn't even see it coming because she was bit from behind (area of buttocks) and then bit a second time in the chest (the fatal bite). Manang struggled with the dog, got herself bitten as well, and she was screaming for help as she tried to pull Binky away from her attacker, but no one was willing to help. Eventually the maid of the house (owner of the chow chow) came out with a small tub (tabo) of water but it was too late.

As soon as she was able to separate Binky from her aggressive murderer, manang ran back home. She had bloodied Binky in her hands and she ran back home, desperate to take her to me. It was a long walk back and through that stretch Binky was already struggling. She continued to walk and when she got home, she hurried upstairs where I met them. At that moment, she swears that Binky's breathing ceased and her eyes closed: this means that when I saw her eyes stare at me, we shared one last look and she let go.

My Binky was attacked and she held her breath long enough to say goodbye to me. As an owner (and her mommy) I couldn't ask for more. 

Dogs Are Meant to Be Loved

Dog ownership--this is a thing often confused by many. You see, owning a dog is a big responsibility. It is not merely a CUTE toy or a fun companion. When I made the decision to take Binky from my mom, I thought hard about it because I knew it was going to be hard work and it was. Some people buy expensive dogs because they can afford it but many of these dogs are unloved, caged and deprived. Dogs are meant to be loved. They will love you, unconditionally, but you have to love them too. We have eight dogs at home (minus Binky) and they are all loved immensely so they are kind and gentle.

A friend immediately researched about aggressive dogs the day I broke the news to them. Apparently, dogs are aggressive when they lack exercise and remember that when I saw the chow chow and his companion chihuahua, I found them caged. Now, I do not like to make assumptions, but maybe they stay in the cage almost 100% of the time and get zero exercise. Now this is frustrating. I mean, why have dogs if you can't take care of them? Why have dogs if you can't be a responsible owner? Owning a dog is more than just having them--it is really so much more.

Let me remind you that apart from Binky's death the dog injured our manang and she endured stage three bites (lacerations). We initially spent Php17,000 on shots and medications and she is due for more (total expected at Php25,000). Much could have been avoided if they were responsible owners.There is nothing wrong with walking a dog and Binky was leashed, enjoying her favorite thing in the world, when life was snatched away from her. Is it worth it to have a dog, if even you are frightened of them so you keep them locked in a cage? The owner said it was the first time for the chow chow to do something like that--so how many times does he have to attack before it becomes valid?

Anyway, that day ended with my mom filling a report. We wanted it known that a dangerous and deathly aggressive dog is a threat in the subdivision, so we filed a report. I cannot let anyone go through the same pain I went through. No dog and no person, should be hurt by that chow chow ever again. 

One Week After

That was a week ago. Before she died, Binky was with me for two years and two months. I miss her terribly. I have put away her clothes, her bed, her cage, her leash and her toys--I have no use for them anymore. The morning of her death, I asked God why, but even though I did not get an answer yet, I understand that this is all part of God's plan. To tell you honestly, I am still sad. The day she died, I was devastated and broken, I cancelled all my appointments and I cried until I had no tears left to cry. I am still sad today. I keep on imagining she is still with me and I keep recalling the things we used to do, and it makes me smile. But I can also recall the last look she gave me that morning and it breaks me into pieces. Binky was my baby and I know some people will think it's weird but she meant so much to me. Her death is too intense and it may be awhile before I would forget her, but I am okay.

You know what, this post was initially titled: "Binky, My Baby". I had this queued for awhile but it remained unwritten for a long time. When I planned this post more than a month ago, I wanted to talk about how Binky, a hairy dog, is my baby and my love. The night before the accident, I saw it again and realized it was due to be written, so I opened it and began writing--the first sentence of this post is the original sentence I constructed that night, but I stopped and said: "I'll write this tomorrow". I knew I wasn't so hectic in the clinic the next day so I had time to write this... but that, of course, never happened. 

It's quite sad when you think about it, you know? I feel as though I didn't write it because I was meant to write it THIS WAY. Now I wonder: would I have changed the course of time if I finished the post the night before and it was a jolly one? Deaths are never easy--even deaths of pets. Many of our dogs have died on us already but most of them died of old age or of a sickness, so we got the chance to see them weaken and deteriorate. I was given only ONE LOOK. Binky looked at me, one  last time, and she left me. I couldn't touch her. I couldn't even look at her injuries--it was too painful, so I just asked them to describe them to me. I wish she died differently, but I knew she had to die this way. God has a reason for this and even though I am sad about her loss I have no regrets because I loved Binky sincerely and during our time together, we had a blast!

I miss you so much Binky. I miss you Beebs, Binks, Binker, Monkey, Mongkaleesh, Mongkonks. Binkaroo, Bunks, Munks--my baby and my princess. I know where you are because they say, "all dogs go to heaven"

I will love you always...

post signature

I have forgiven the owner of the chow-chow for what has happened. I accept that things happen and this did. I would also like you to know that they shouldered all the hospital bills for manang.