After Papa's departure at the Villamor Air Base Mortuary, he was brought to his final resting place in Libingan ng Mga Bayani. The ceremony was lengthy and elaborate, but it was very beautiful. Just like his arrival honors, the morning of the 30th of October, there was an assembly of soldiers at the Mortuary and at Libingan ng Mga Bayani, and then we walked to where he was finally laid to rest.
|My Papa's PMA classmates|
Of the entire ceremony, the presentation of the flag was the most memorable for me. After the pall bearers folded it, just before they presented it to my mom, it first made its round among Papa's mistah from the PMA. It was very dramatic. One by one, they took the flag and pressed it to their heart, a symbolic gesture that made me cry even more. I mentioned it to my girlfriends after. Almost the entire class (those still living) attended the necrological service and then the internment, the following morning. I was telling them I hope that when we're that age, we'd still be devoted to each other. They have a Viber group and they keep in touch with each other's lives. The bond formed decades ago, still intact and strong.
Friendship is really serious stuff for me. Some people collect them in bulk but I am the type who is willing to let go of those who are not worth my time, just so I could focus on those who matter most to me. I prefer friendships that are genuine. More so, I put real value on the type of friendship that defends and protects... I call this BLIND LOVE.
True Friendship Demands Blind Love
Blind love is when you love despite and in spite of. It is when you pick a side and you stick with that side because you are loyal. This is true for family. My sisters and I have made a pact to always honor blind love. This means that we will have common enemies and we will always fight for the same team. This also means that we will always be there for each other, no matter what. And in the Romeo and Juliet notion of things, it means that I will proudly Mercutio the butt of any Montague in sight (for my sisters).
I also demand blind love from my friends. I do not speak it, but I quietly expect it because I will give you the same type of loyalty. I have said goodbye to many people for different reasons. Some of my old friendships are now very casual, some have been downgraded to social media connections and some are totally down the drain (depending on the cause of the falling out). You see, I will fight for a friendship, as much as I can, but I have always been willing to let go of friends who are disloyal, dishonest and most of all selfish.
I had one falling out with a long time friend because she was disloyal, dishonest and selfish. I trusted her with my story and she played with it like it was common information she had to share to all. You see, despite my "public" existence here in my blog and social media, I am a private person. It may not be easy to understand because here I am blogging, but know that the stuff I share here are filtered and carefully censored. This means that when I reveal something, it is information that I can openly talk about. When I tell you, A SECRET, it means that I am entrusting to you a portion of my life that I would rather not let anyone touch. I am very particular about my sensitive private life and I expect my friends to respect that because I will do the same. I seem loud and open, but that is not exactly the case--AND SHE KNEW THAT.
I expected my friend to defend and protect me, because she was supposed to be on my side. I would've done the same for her... I would have fought for the team, but I was so surprised to find out that she wasn't taking my friendship seriously--that really hurt me the most. It was painful because I chose her for a reason and I realized I did not know her well. For that, I do not fault her, I picked her to be my friend and so I chose to remedy the situation. My mom would always tell us to choose our friends wisely, so I eventually chose to let her go. We are generally okay (not immediately), but I eventually explained and apologized for my decision. We, however, will never be close again.
True Friends = Soulmates
During the day of my Papa' s burial I watched one of my Papa's best friends as he said his lonesome goodbye in front of the coffin. He was there for maybe 30 minutes, I did not see him cry because he had his back to me, but I saw him gripping a handkerchief.
After we went back home, we received more messages from his friends and they continued to speak of friendship, brotherhood and how this now extends and is immediately transferred to us (in Papa's absence). My Mom also got to talk to "that best friend"... and when she asked him why he loved my Papa he said: "Because we understood each other. We were both loners. He was the only one that got me." And I immediately made a mental examination: Do my friends understand me? Do they really get who I am? For years I've had the opportunity to meet a collection of people. I found out that it is not hard to make friends, but I also learned that it is not easy to find ones that are REAL.
When Papa passed away I gained a deeper appreciation for many of my friends. God has truly blessed me with friends I feel I do not deserve. During the stretch of the wake and to this day, I continue to receive care from all directions, it is heartwarming and invigorating. I do not have a lot of friends, I've said that before, but I have amazing few. The core of the friendships I share with people have been tested by time and I am grateful for each one of them. I have lost some people in the past and every loss was not easy. The one I recently lost initially saddened me, but when a friendship is not nurturing but is instead damaging, you have to let the wind take it somewhere.
And then hope for the best...