How to Soften a Man

Men are supposed to be tough because they are built to be bigger and stronger. Tasked to protect a woman when she is in danger. Expected to defend his family when the need arises. It is no mystery why most women look for men that tower over them. They want shoulders they can hang onto and they want their men to be like boulders of ice. I want all of those in a man, but the trouble with men who behave like real men is that they are often too proud to be marshmallows. Afraid to admit defeat. Too proud to take responsibily for mistakes that they commit. On top of all that, they have a great tendency for dominance.

I grew up with a manly man. My father is a tough man (a military man) and it was not easy. I did not understand all of my mom's complaints in the past until I began complaining about it myself. Bon, is like my dad. Tough. Dominant. Stone-like. Proud. Being with a manly man is not easy. To have a father who was a manly man was not easy. To have a boyfriend who was like that, as well, was tough.

But to those who think that a manly man does not have a soft spot... is wrong.

Sometimes all it takes is for you to love the man... and the manly man, can turn soft. I once told a friend this: if there is one thing I have learned from being with Bon for this long, it is that men (although, dense at times), can give you your dreams --- if you just let them.

• There are men who are romantic (my first boyfriend was like that) and they really know how to sweep women off their feet. I know someone like that; a true casanova who probably learned all his tricks from the movies. He was a real charmer and women fell at his feet but he always failed to follow-through to the end (cus movies always end with "and they live happily ever after").

• There are men who just know what to do. I have met someone like this and i forced myself to like him, because "i knew" that he will be so good for me. He was the type of man who will love you more than you love him, but that was the problem --- he really loved me more --- and I never loved him at all, so I moved on. I know some women who fell in love with "romantic men" and I envy them, somehow, because I think they are lucky.

• There are men who claim they know nothing about romance and they are the "manly men" of the world. Some remain assholes forever (like a few that I know of) but you cannot always generalize men. 

If you have a manly man and you think there is no way of softening "the fellow" --- you're wrong. Because if you just take time to tell them how you feel, and you never get tired of loving them for who they are... you will be surprised because in time, the manly man --- can let go of their tough exterior, for you.

  

He will love you.

He will understand you.

He will give you what you want.

He will learn how to compromise.

p.s I am not a "love expert". I don't even claim to know all men. This is just me --- writing it, as I understand it.