Monday, October 31, 2011

Day 12: If you could wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish for?

I'd like to get pregnant and become a mother.

mother and child


Actually, I had to think so long and hard about this because I didn't want to say it out loud. This is one of my greatest wishes but ever since I found out that I may have a hard time getting pregnant, I've chosen to shut it out. The Lord knows the desires of my heart and I believe that "all things are possible" so I've never believed anything to be final. In fact, the doctor said it might be impossible for me to have a child, but I go around saying I have a small chance.

If I could make one wish come true I'd wish for a baby. I wish to get pregnant and become a mother because all my hard work is not for me. I've saved money in the bank not to buy expensive things. Everything I do, I do for my future child and I would be happiest if I could be granted this wish...


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PS. Please pray for me

Sunday, October 30, 2011

I AM NOT A COOK: I Am Getting Good At This!

I have a thing to tell you and I will tell you this because I am quite proud. Sometimes when I cook, and I taste what I've cooked, I cannot believe how good I've become. I am proud of this because I did not grow up cooking and I did not learn to cook, anywhere. Most of the things I cook in the kitchen, I cook for the first time in my life, and what's amazing --- after that still very unfortunate bout with the monggo --- is that everything's been awesome ever since!

Come on, let's check out what's been cooking in my kitchen!

Chicken, sitcharo, young corn, butter, tomatoes, onion,  garlic, basil, salt and pepper.

Season chicken with salt and pepper. Saute onions and garlic in a pan. Add chicken and tomatoes and fry until browned or tender (Add water if needed). When the chicken is cooked, and water has evaporated, add butter then the sitcharo and young corn. Stir until half-cooked.

I believe that everything cooked in butter tastes good. Plain mushrooms sautéed in butter tastes awesome and if you want your chicken stir fry to taste better, you can drain much of the oil and then replace it with butter. Yummy and simple, believe me.

Ground beef, bell peppers, onions, garlic, tomatoes, raisins, tomato sauce, cayenne pepper, paprika, cumin, saging na saba, eggs, salt and pepper

Season the meat with salt and pepper. Heat oil in pan and sauté garlic, onions and tomatoes. Add meat and bell peppers and cook until meat is browned and tender. Add the tomato sauce and allow it to simmer. Season with spices (to your liking) and add the raisins. Finally, to complete the dish, fry the bananas and the egg.

I made this dish for my friend, Didi, when she visited from Dubai. It’s her favorite dish, and I wanted to surprise her, so cooked Arroz ala Cubana!

Pork loin, can of pineapple chunks, onions, bell pepper, soy sauce, peanut oil, cornstarch, sugar, salt and garlic

Season the pork with salt and boil it in water until tender, then drain. Mix cornstarch and soy sauce together, and coat the pork with it before frying it until golden brown. Set aside. Dissolve another 2 tablespoons of cornstarch on the pork stock . In a new pan, sauté garlic and onions. Add bell peppers, pineapple chunks with syrup, ketchup, sugar, salt and the dissolved cornstarch until the sauce thickens. Pour this over the fried pork.

This, I am not so proud of, because my favorite yaya used to do it differently, and my version is far less superior! I will try to do this again, and I’ll try to do what she does.

Chicken, potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic, coconut milk, curry powder, chili powder, sugar, salt and pepper.

Fry chicken until it is light brown and tender. Set aside. In another pan, fry the potatoes and the carrots, until cooked and then set it aside. Sauté garlic, onions and ginger. Add the chicken, coconut milk, curry powder and allow it to simmer. Add chili powder, sugar, salt and pepper (to taste).

The best compliment I got for this was when Bon said: “I can’t even tell the difference between yours and my mom’s!” Haha! He even said my one is better because the vegetables are bite size, so that makes me happy.

Mixed vegetables (carrots, lettuce, broccoli, cauliflower, garlic, onions and young corn), mushrooms, oyster sauce

Stir fry the vegetables in hot oil, really quickly, so as not to overcook it. Add the mushrooms and then add oyster sauce and serve on hot rice or just it eat on its own. For this one, it would be smart to cook the vegetables when they are still fresh and do not (this very important) overcook it.

Tuna in vegetable (lite), carrots, garlic, bell pepper, onions, raisins, salt and pepper, soy sauce, chili sauce, lumpia wrapper.

Sauté garlic and onions. Add bell peppers, tuna, carrots and raisins. Season with soy sauce or knorr seasoning. Set aside until dry. Get the lumpia wrapper and create your spring rolls. Fry the rolls and then serve with sweet chili sauce.

I served this when my best friend, Mabeth, came to visit the house and she liked it. It is a good version of the classic lumpiang shanghai and it’s very easy to make.

Pork belly. achuette (annatto), onions, garlic, pork or beef broth, peanut butter, toasted malagkit rice, fish sauce, string beans, eggplant, bokchoy, bagoong, salt and pepper

Heat oil and add achuete until red, then drain. Add onions and sauté it until translucent. Add garlic until fragrant then add broth and wait for it to boil. Whisk peanut butter until the sauce is smooth and add ground malagkit rice until sauce is thick. Season with fish sauce, sugar, saly and pepper. Add vegetables and mix well. On a deep pan, fry pork belly in oil and then aside to dry. Serve on top of the kare-kare sauce along with the vegetables.

I love KARE-KARE and I love crunchy kare-kare even more because it is more fun to eat. It’s crunchy and full of surprises, hahaha!

Pork chunks, pork liver chunks, potatoes, carrots, raisins, paprika, pork or chicken stock, fish sauce, atsuete, tomatoes, garlic and onions

Heat oil and add atsuete until red, then drain. Sauté garlic and onion. Add pork and liver and brown. Add tomatoes, paprika, fish sauce and stock and bring to boil. Simmer for 20 minutes or until pork is tender. Add potatoes, carrots and raisins until vegetables are cooked.

This is a simple dish, so there’s nothing special about it. I wanted to try it for the sake of trying it, but I am not really a fan of menudo, that much.

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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Day 11: Who Can't You Live Without

I can't live without people. It's one of the reasons why you can never make me live in another country by myself. I can't live without my family and friends -- and I will not single one out. But for the sake of naming one person I cannot truly live out, I'd like to humor you by saying that I can't live without MONIQUE.


Picture 369

Monique is our assistant. Before she came, her job was my job and now I cannot live without her. In fact, when she calls in sick, I always find myself rescheduling patients and even, closing, sometimes.

The clinic doesn't feel complete without her and I've become totally dependent on her, which may be a bad thing because I know that can't be with us forever (or maybe she can)...


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Friday, October 28, 2011

Day 10: Dream for the Future

I have ONE TRUE DREAM for the future, but If these things happen, I’d have lived the best life…

For my family:
I hope my family is always comfortable
I hope my sisters have a great life
I hope that my parents live a long
I hope that they will always be happy

For my career:
I hope to build a second branch for my clinic
I hope to become successful in my field
I want to become a writer for a magazine
I plan to be successful enough to pay someone to work for me

For my personal life:
I hope to have a good married life
I hope to become a good mother
I hope to always be healthy
I hope to be happy

My dreams for the future change every time. When I was in high school, I wanted to become a cheerdancer. When I was in College, I wanted to have a boyfriend. When I was in my clinical years in school, I dreamt of becoming a real dentist. When I graduated, I asked for a job. After a year, I begged my dad for a clinic. A few years ago, I wanted to be married and become a mother...


Today, I only have one dream for the future... I really want to be with God, in Heaven... And I will live the days of my life, gearing towards that.

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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Day 9: Hopes, Dream and Plans for the Next 365 Days

I can go on to make some sort of resolution for the next year, but I am not good with that and I might as well not bother... Instead, I'd like to sum it up with one thing:

Happy (1)


I wish to be happy, its not too much to ask, right?

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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Day 8: What's In My Handbag/Purse



This is my bag at the moment. Nine West, white leather with lots of pockets. Now, let's see what I have inside:

a. makeup kit
b. wallet
c. celphone and pouch
d. notebook
e. pen
f. Bible
g. camera
h. wet wipes
i. key chain
j. hand sanitizer

I need all of these things with me, wherever I go. It is for this reason that I cannot function with a small bag. And for this reason, too, that I hate formal functions because I can't really bring a big bag that will fit all my stuff.

I don't usually have a notebook, bible and wet wipes in my bag. Recently, though, I do because I attend classes at my church and the notebook doubles as my to-do list too. I don't take them out of my bag anymore - so that I won't forget them. The wipes, I put there, because I have a lot at home and I need to use them, so I've decided to become the type of person that carries wet wipes with her, wherever she goes.

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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Day 7: My Worst Habit

I have a lot of bad habits but one that's the worst of it all is I LOVE TO TALK. Sometimes I love to talk that I interrupt people when they talk, I butt in while they're trying to say something (often to react, sometimes to finish their sentences, and even sometimes to try to guess what they're trying to tell me). I don't know why I do this, but I have a theory:


You see, my mind is always in fast forward. At your first word, I've already jumped to the next page. While you’re talking, even before you finish, I already know what to say to you... Or I've already jumped many times within my head, and I can't wait to share a similar experience.

In other words, it’s not really that I have bad manners (because believe me, I do know how to listen too, sometimes, especially when it matters) and I do not really do this on purpose, but I think my brain is just too fast. In TV series and movies, when we try to guess what's happening -- I always get it right. Bon would usually say: "How did you know?" and at times, I surprise myself too -- cus it comes to me without even thinking about it.

So I'm sorry. I'm sorry I always butt in. I'm sorry I have an instant reaction. It's actually one of the things that I'm working on --- letting people finish their sentences or their whole story, before I interject my own. I mean, I am only human, after all.. So please forgive me.

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Monday, October 24, 2011

Day 6: A Song That Makes You Cry (Or Nearly)

When I was young, I used to listen to sad songs to make myself cry. I hadn't been heartbroken yet but I made myself listen to love songs and I imagined how sad it would be to fall in love and get your heart broken. When I got my first heart break, I tortured myself by listening to sad songs. I'd even play certain songs on repeat and I'd cry while I was driving (totally dangerous practice, I know)

Today, its either the songs are not so sad enough or I've become immune (it might be the latter) because I can't remember crying to songs on the radio anymore. What I noticed about myself, though, is that I cry when I sing at church sometimes. The first time I did was after my operation last year and even more, these days. Sometimes I just put my head down so no one would see...

There are a lot of praise songs that touch my heart. This song, “All For Love” basically says it all, and if you haven’t heard this song yet, you should play the video I attached below. God sent His Son to save us from our sins. As a sinner, it is comforting to know that I have been saved -- and that truly brings tears to my eyes.

Oh how many times,
have I broken Your heart
but still You forgive,
if only I ask...
And how many times, 
have You heard me pray
Draw near to me...

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Sunday, October 23, 2011

Ukokkei Ramen Ron, and other things...

I tried Ukokkei Ramen Ron, a few weeks ago. I went on a "No Other Woman" movie date with two of my girl friends and before the movie, we decided to have dinner first. I actually did not have plans of eating so much. I love movie food --- and I wanted to get a greasy burger or hotdog, but my friend wanted to try this special ramen and she said that it was going to be worth it.



Ukokkei was very near, so I agreed to go there for dinner. I was also intrigued by it and wanted to see what’s so special.

Here’s what I found out:

The ramen is called Tantan and it is a spicy peanut flavor soup, priced at a whopping Php385 per bowl. The noodles are hand-pulled and the entire dish is quite filling but I didn’t really find anything special about it. Sure it is impressive that the broth takes 2-days to make and that only 15 to 20 bowls get served a day. Sure it seems so special, especially when you have to rush to the place to make it by 6:30pm (the only time they start serving). But I shall tell you that there is a cheaper place in Podium that serves a similar peanut noodle soup --- at just Php100+.

I would try it again because it was really yummy --- just not so special. This, of course, should not in any way influence you because I am no authority in food and I’ve only been there once.

Anyway, after the ramen we proceeded to watch “No Other Woman” and speaking of such, OTHER WOMEN, that is,  I was with a patient the other day (one whose wife and children I treat, as well) and although I had no desire to speak to him about the last time we saw each other in public, he defensively explained to me why I saw him with a younger girl at Handyman. Oh --- men! Like life is not so complicated already, they cannot find a place for their d*cks (pardon the word). Maybe they should just put it in a boiling hot ramen bowl --- I mean, that's HOT too, you know!

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Ukokkei Ramen Ron
G/F Tesoro Bldg. 822 A. Arnaiz Avenue
San Lorenzo Village, Makati City
(02) 856-4588

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Day 5: Your Dream House

When I was young, my dream house was a pink Barbie house. I asked for it, I don't know how many times, from Santa, but I never got one. I got a picnic set and a bedroom, but not a house. So my Barbie dolls and Ken would just sleep and sunbathe all day.

Anyway, I don't really have a dream house. I don't know how I want my future home to look like and I don't know how big or small I want it to be..

barbie dream house toys-r-us

When I think of building a home, I imagine all kinds of things, but I don't really have a particular structure in mind. I want a nice home, but I do not exactly need something lavish. I want function and comfort, but not exactly a reason to brag. I do wish for some luxury, but only if I could afford it. And if I could have everything I want in the world, I would ask for a house that comes with:
  • A walk-in closet.  I want a proper closet for my clothes and I want a nice place for my shoes. I want my cabinet to look like it’s a boutique.. because I want everything to look pretty.
  • A den. I'm not much for having televisions in bedrooms and I don't want them in the dinning and living room, but I want a den where everyone can hangout, watch TV and just chill.
  • A library. I want for my children to have a good place to study. I don’t want them always tucked up in their rooms, and I want them to study together. I want a library and have the computers in this room, like a real library.
  • A huge washroom and bath. In this bathroom I want a big bath tub. I want a tub that would fit two people comfortably, and you don't have to ask me why.
  • A walk in pantry. I want my pantry to be like a grocery store and I want to have all kinds of food stored in there.
It’s not bad to want and wish for things… it is the manner in which you want for it and the level of bargaining you are willing to do, to acquire them, that makes it wrong…

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Friday, October 21, 2011

Day 4: Something You Are OCD About

Oh. I am definitely OCD about a lot of things. I have no crazy Emma Pillsbury compulsions but I have my share. Some these things, I've already shared in a previous blog post, but for the sake of the blog challenge, I'll still include them:
  1. When I was in school, I needed a black and a red sign pen to take down notes. If I accidentally run out of ink or if I lose a pen and I don't have any reserve, I will run down to the bookstore to buy a new one, or I’ll write the day’s notes on a scratch paper.
  2. I arrange my clothes by color and I only have white hangers. I also make sure that they are set in ordering of the light to dark shades. I don't know why I do this but it helps me function.
  3. I put labels on things. I use my brother labeler and I put labels on DVD cases, containers, drawers and folders.
  4. When I sneeze, I say: "Achoo" first, because I feel that I have to warn the people of what's to come.
  5. If I'm writing something and I make one mistake, however small, I will tear the page off and rewrite everything. Sometimes ill do it more than once and what's worse is that sometimes they're not even important.
There might be more, but I can't think of anything anymore..
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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Day 3: A Photo Taken Over 10 Years Ago of You


Here is a photograph of myself with my grandma (my dad's mom). A few months after my birthday, my mom died. My father, then a young military man, was being stationed everywhere around the Philippines, so my "lola" was both my mom and dad. Without her, I would have been a “true orphan”, but she left her home (and my grandpa) to be with me. I don't have memories of those years (I was much too young) but I remember her playing on my ukulele every morning, while singing a song.

My grandma has been long gone. She passed away when I was 17, while my family was living in London. I didn't get to say goodbye to her. Only my mom and dad travelled back home.

Goodbye Lola...

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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Day 2: 20 of My Favorite Things

1.  Blackberry and BBMessenger. IMG_2556It took me awhile to get on board but I am now a believer. "Once you go black you will never go back" and I love my BB and the BBMessenger because I get to talk to my friends overseas, like they've never left at all.

2. Brother labeler. I am slightly OCD and so my mind functions a certain way. I have this compulsive urge to keep things in order and my Brother labeler helps me fulfill this need.

3. My wedding ring. DSC_0267 I am not much for jewelry. I wear earrings, but only because I feel that empty ears are quite boyish. I don't like watches because they are quite annoying and although I still haven't gotten the hang wearing it on my finger, I love my ring.

4. Our cheap IKEA table lamps. The house is still a work in progress, but I try to add a little here and there, every month. To make the bedroom more roomy, I got these uber cheap IKEA lamps for our bedside tables and its perfect and beautiful when lit.

5. My blog. "The Drama Queen Can Tell Stories", like the clinic is my baby. It is who I am and what I am is a writer. It is the one place where I am able to be all that I am: a dentist, a writer, a chef, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend.

6. My favorite TV shows on DVD. I have a lot of time (the biggest perk of being your own boss) and although I preoccupy this idleness with writing, it's not enough. I am grateful for DVDs sold at Metrowalk. We may not have TiVo but I think this is so much better.

7. chair My dental chair. When I was building my first clinic it was really small and insignificant but I was sure that I wanted to splurge on a chair. I was lucky that my dad was on board with it because he was my sugar daddy. I saw different brands of chairs and I tried different models. I immediately fell in love with my chair and I knew, right away that it was going to be the best investment for my career.

8. ASUS laptop. I have always been a PC user but almost 2yrs ago I decided to give up the PC and bought my very first laptop. I love my lappy because I need it for my work, it makes blogging easier and it fulfills my need to constantly be connected to friends.

9. My clothes.  I am not a Fashionista. My clothes are not designer, either, but even as a young college student I learned to save my allowance to buy clothes and buying clothes make me happy.

10. Remote control electric fans. I am lazy, with a capital L-A-Z-Y, and we have three of these. It's fun to use because you don't need to standup to control a fan. You can setup the timer, increase fan speed and oscillate it while lying on your bed.

11. MAC facepowder and Bodyshop lip and cheek stain. I now own and wear more makeup than just powder and blush, but I will still always be a basic powder and blush girl. I cannot go without my MAC face powder and I believe that lip and cheek stain is the best thing in the world.

12. Bodyshop lipstick. I am not a lippy person but I've long matured since then. I now have several sticks of lippy, but although I don't really wear most of them I have a favorite. I like it because it's almost nude but it's there. So my lip color is even and pinkish all the time.

13. My drama queen band. It's nothing special. I don't even wear it but it was given to me by a friend and that makes it more special. It’s so funny because she just confessed to me that she doesn’t read my blog, but she saw the band and remembered me right away.

14. Cooking utensils. A year ago, I wouldn’t have dared to mention “cooking utensils” as my favorite things but it is so much different now. If before I only cook during special occasions, now I’ve realized that cooking has become one of my favorite activities. I am still not good enough to “invent” dishes, but I can play around with different dishes, and that’s good enough for me – at the moment.

15. Personalized credit card. I love my personalized credit card.metrobank3[11] I have always wanted one before and I was so excited to finally have one.  Bon said I made a wrong move by picking a picture that did not show my face --- but I didn’t really want to see my face on the credit card, so I showed my back, instead.

16. HDMI DVD players with USB port. Ever since we got these players with USB ports I have become so addicted to downloading movies. I feel so bad to declare (twice in the post) that I support piracy, but what can I do, it’s cheap.

17. Ebooks. Another cheap move I make, I download ebooks instead of buying them and I love it! I love how fast I could acquire a title and I do not have spend money for it. I still do not have my iPad or an e-reader to support this hobby, but I hope I get one – soon!

18. Twilight journals. I got these journals as a gift from my friend in the US. She knows what kind of a TWI-hard I am and she got me the journals, which I promised twilight to use as a diary, but I don’t. I use them, instead, to take down notes during church services and to write grocery lists. I love it not because I love the series, but I love it because it came from a special friend.

19. Bible. I’ve always had a bible for myself, but most of my bibles were given to me by my mom or I just got them from the many bibles we have at home. This year, I got my very own bible. I bought one and I’ve even begun writing little notes on them. I still haven’t read the bible cover-to-cover --- I wish to be able to do it,  but I know it is not going to be easy. Hopefully, one day, I can say I have…

20. My car. I own a Ford Lynx and it’s an old car. Ever since I was allowed to drive on my own I have had 5 cars. My first car was a KIA Pride and my next two cars after that were both MAZDA 323s. The next car after thatcar was a TOYOTA Rav4 and then I gave that up for this FORD. I don’t really care much for cars but I cannot live without one. I have no plans of commuting around Manila and I am glad that I do not have to ride the taxi. I love my car because it was given to by my dad and along with it, the car brought me independence. 

Some people will have designer items as their favorite things but I am not like that. I do not love things because they are expensive and because they make me feel good about myself. These things mean so much to me because they are part of who I am and because they make my life easier to live. Hahahahaha!

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Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Day 1: A Photo That Makes You Happy

you and your teeth

On my grade school yearbook, I already knew that I was going to be a dentist someday. My uncle (my mom's brother) and his wife were dentists and as I was growing up, I knew that I wanted to do what they were doing. Here's the truth: in lower school, I wasn't so brilliant. In grade school, I studied because my parents were strict and it was unacceptable for us to bring home grades lower than 85. In high school, it was a different thing. I was a cheerleader and a track and field player. To maintain this status I had to maintain good grades, so I studied for that --- and perhaps for that purpose only. People perform well when they are motivated. Pressure and ambition motivated me well (cheer dancing was it, for me then).

College was a different story altogether. The cheer dancer began to love books and I studied not because I had to, but because I wanted to. I maintained a constant spot in the dean's list and I breezed through all clinical levels. Once I was approached and asked how I do it and everytime I'd give the same answer: "I love what I do. If you are passionate about what you do, everything will come naturally to you".

This January would mark my 6th year as a dentist and on February 15, "You and Your Teeth" will turn 4. This photo surely makes me smile because, once upon a time, I dreamt of this and today it is my reality.

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Monday, October 17, 2011

The 30-Day Blog Challenge

Like I don't already have gazillions of things to do in my life, I have decided to take on a challenge: The 30-Day Blog Challenge. I've always wanted to do this, but I know I couldn't really make myself blog everyday. But since I am a fighter like that, I've decided to finally do this, to:

  • amuse myself because I'm so bored and sometimes I can't think of anything decent to write
  • give you something to read, and give you a reason to keep coming back
  • finally get on the bandwagon and get this over and done with. If I've done it, then I won't have to think about doing it again.
Here is a rundown of all 30 topics:

    Day 1    A photo that makes you happy
   Day 2    20 of my favorite things  
Day 3    A photo taken over 10 years ago of you  
Day 4    Something you are OCD about  
Day 5    Your dream house   
Day 6    A song that makes you cry (or nearly)   
Day 7    My worst habit   
Day 8    What’s in my handbag/purse   
Day 9    Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days  
Day 10  A dream for the future   
Day 11  Who can’t you live without? 
  Day 12  If you could wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish for?   
Day 13  Have you ever had your heart broken? Have you ever broken a heart?  
Day 14  What do you like most about yourself?   
Day 15  What do you dislike most about yourself?   
Day 16  What do people notice about you?   
Day 17  What’s something you wish you could say to someone?  
Day 18  Whom do you admire the most?   
Day 19  What is your goal in life?   
Day 20  What are the 10 most significant events in your life?   
Day 21  If you died tomorrow, what’s one thing you’d regret not doing?  
Day 22  What’s an inside joke you have with someone? 
  Day 23  Two months ago, where were you and what were you doing?   
Day 24  Do you have saved text messages?  If so, who are they from and why do you still have them?   
Day 25  Write 5 messages to 5 different people without using names. 
  Day 26  What’s something you’re really excited for?  
Day 27  What do you feel guilty for doing?  
Day 28  Tattoos.  If you have one, post it and its story.  If not, what do you want?   
Day 29  Picture of your makeup collection   
Day 30  When were the happiest days of your life?

I also figured that since I am THIRTY now, and going to be THIRTY-ONE soon, I have to do this now, when it still seems significant.

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Monday, October 10, 2011


So I have a new favorite song. I heard it three weeks ago and this week it's been on repeat in my playlist. I am not a fan of Nicki Minaj or Rihanna but I appreciate their work. Niki Minaj's rapping style kinda reminds me of Lisa "Lefteye" Lopez, of TLC. Of course Lefteye's voice is tinier and she does rap a little faster but, their style is quite similar.

Nicki Minaj feat Rihanna

(this is not the official video and not even the original song. it is only a cover, but it is a good cover. i couldn 't embed the original so you have to make do with this)

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly --- To fly

I wish today it will rain all day
Maybe that will kinda make the pain go away
Trying to forgive you for abandoning me
Praying but I think I’m still an angel away
Angel away, yeah strange in a way
Maybe that is why I chase strangers away
They got their guns out aiming at me
But I become near when they aiming at me
Me, me, me against them
Me against enemies, me against friends
Somehow they both seem to become one
A sea full of sharks and they all see blood
They start coming and I start rising
Must be surprising, I’m just summising
Win, thrive, soar, higher, higher, higher
More fire

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly --- To fly

Everybody wanna try to box me in
Suffocating everytime it locks me in
Paint they own pictures than they crop me in
But I will remain where the top begins
Cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined
I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation
I hear the criticism loud and clear
That is how I know that the time is near
So we become alive in a time of fear
And I aint got no muthaf-cking time to spare
Cry my eyes out for days upon days
Such a heavy burden placed upon me
But when you go hard your nay’s become yay’s
Yankee Stadium with Jay’s and Kanye’s

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly --- To fly

Get ready for it
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
I came to win
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
I came to win

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive 
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly ---To fly

This song is about winning. Winning is subjective, and it is different for every person. To some, winning is gaining power, fame and recognition. To others winning is being able to overcome challenges. And there are those who measure victory through the number of people they've defeated and put down.

Even as a young girl I did not care much for winning. In races, I ran for myself and I maintained high grades in College not because I wanted to be the best but because I knew that my high grades would make my parents happy. I had classmates who were cutthroat and they competed with me. Sometimes I indulged them (because it could be fun), and that made things complicated because... when people begin to compete, the fight becomes dirty. Suddenly you're no longer doing it for yourself but you're doing it, to spite others or even more pathetic, just to perform for their approval. So how do you know if you should get into the game or not?

To this day, I continue to struggle in the midst of those who live their lives at the expense of mine. It is sad when it happens but you cannot really control how people are and you surely cannot change who they are and what they do to you. What you have control of, is how you will react to certain stimuli. At church, we are following a series on negative emotions and every Sunday I find myself getting a firmer grasp on things. Negative emotions can and will disrupt your life. Sometimes these emotions will be strong enough to break you and you can choose to be ruined, or you can learn to let go. You have to understand one thing: the fight is already won when you let a greater power take the battle for you. Yes, it would be nice to get dirty. Of course it would be more fulfilling to see them get a taste of how it feels to be in your place, but instead you just have to let go... and LET GOD. 

The appeal of this song to me shows very well that my subconscious wants me to take Rihanna's and Nicki's words to heart --- to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive, to prosper, to survive, to fly --- but I know that God has a better plan for me, and so I surrender and I will win, because of Him...

to God be the glory,
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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Goodbye Again, Didi Girl

My good friend, Didi, got married a month after I did. We considered ourselves very lucky because we basically planned our weddings together. Planning a wedding is fun when you are planning it with your girl friend but as we got nearer to the date of hers, I realized just how sad I really was (and made sure to make her sad too, when I gave my MOH speech). Yes, I was happy that my friend got her "happily ever after", but I was sad because her prince charming was taking her to a faraway land with many camels. 

My love affair with Didi began after our 9-day Malaysia trip. We've been friends for years before that, but we were not so close. Everything changed after that trip, though, and now that Didi is married and living in Dubai I feel as though a big chunk of my heart has been cut off.


Thankfully, she came back last month for a few weeks --- to finalize moving "out". It was a marathon trip and she had so many things to do and so many people to see, but we made sure to steal her away from all her other friends, as much as we could.

NIGHT OUT #1: Uncle Moe’s
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Just a few days after her plane landed, we got together to have dinner at one of our favorite “date” places, Uncle Moe’s. It was a long weekend and people had no work, so a lot of the girls were able to come. The day began with Didi visiting the clinic for “oral prophylaxis” and as a surprise, I cooked her “Arroz ala Cubana” which is one of her many favorites. After work, we both went to City Golf and met up with our other girl friends to pig out on Persian food and alcohol. 

NIGHT OUT #2: Chihuahua and Rue de Bourbon
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This one was a funny night. We wanted to be in Makati, so Avie could come, and we ended up going to “Chihuahua” at A. Venue because it was highly recommended by our friend Selena (highly recommended even after food poisoning) and because we wanted to go “salsa dancing”. Unfortunately, the only salsa we had was fresh tomato salsa and we moved the party to “Rue de Bourbon” at The Fort. It was a night of burritos and tacos --- concluded with macho mugs of caramel-flavored beer! We also adopted a new member to our group that night; can you see the old man in blue? He joined in about 3 pictures that night... 

NIGHTOUT #3 Conway’s, Shangrila Makati
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Our last hurrah for Didi was spent at "Conway’s" in Shangrila Hotel, Makati. It was Ladies’ Night so we got ourselves hella drunk, dancing and making fun of each other (mostly Selena). Since it was Didi's birthday month, Avie had a surprise cake ready, and we downed glasses of Cosmopolitans all night long. 

That was everyone’s final date with Didi, but I (of course) got one more. A few days before her departure she visited me again in clinic and we had our nails done at our favorite place, “The Nailcraft”, just like we used to do before we both got hitched. Anyway, Didi’s with Duane now --- and I miss her so much. I don’t know when she would be back to visit, so I’ll have to make do with Blackberry Messaging, for now.

Girl, I love you girl...
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